High-Achieving Women's Blogazine

Ever been with someone you knew was being nice just because they wanted something from you?  Whether it was a salesman or an acquaintance needing a favor (or a loan), savvy women can tell when they are being manipulated.  We don’t like it, and neither do our customers.  Charismatic people convey the message that they are authentic, and authentic people are more likely to be trusted. And if you can be trusted, you are more likely to gain new clients who will stick with you long-term. What does it mean to be transparent?  Always follow through on your promises and actions – walk the talk, don’t just talk the talk. Always deliver more than you promise – never disappoint. Believe in your cause – believe in yourself. Below are 15.5 tips on how to be a charming and gracious career professional or business woman. 

1. Be fun to be around-having a great sense of humor attracts people to you.
2. Listen twice as much as you talk.
3. Be a friend and offer encouragement and empathy, not advice.
4. Give genuine compliments frequently.
5. Be enthusiastic.
6. Accept a person as they are and not as you want them to be.
7. Be alert for any chance to praise another.
8. When you ask questions, listen to the answers.
9. Be willing to challenge yourself to tackle new opportunities.
10. Have an open mind, take the blinders off.
11. Surround yourself with gracious people.
12. Build a team of people who are as charming and gracious as you are.
13. Remember a person’s name when you meet them and use their name in the conversation.
14. Praise others instead of gossiping about others.
15. Be gracious when accepting compliments.

.5 Women in business should stand when they shake hands but it is not necessary for women to stand up in social situations. The Western handshake is about showing power, confidence, strength, respect and willingness to negotiate. You don’t want someone towering over you while you sit, having to look up and shake their hand. You are giving away your power and it’s rude. You should stand and look him/her in their eyes. Remember:  A good businesswoman sets the agenda, dominates the conversation, and closes the sale!   A great businesswoman asks great questions, listens well, offers supportive help to the customers’ direction / dreams, and then closes the sale!  She actively looks for ways to help other people!

Business lunch manners aren’t just about knowing which fork to use.  Once you’ve mastered basic etiquette, now you need to focus on the underlying power play going on.  Whether you are eating with a colleague, potential client or potential employer, here are the subtle (and not so subtle) guidelines you must know.

1. If you’ve been invited to lunch by a company and they have brought along a group of colleagues, shake hands with the most senior ranked member first if you know who that is.  However, if you’ve been invited by a specific individual within a company, then you should shake their hand first and then the rest of the people in the order in which you are introduced to them. 
2. Extend the power seat to your client or peer; you should take the seat with your back to the room if necessary. There is nothing professional about arriving late, so plan on getting to the restaurant 10 to 15 minutes prior to your scheduled lunch. Depending on where you go, you can either wait for your party at the door or ask to be seated and have your guest(s) brought to the table when they arrive.
3. When the host/hostess/waiter escorts you to the table, allow your client or peer to walk directly behind them, you take up the rear.
4. If you making a food suggestion realize that your client(s) or peer(s) will take it as a signal of the price range to stay in.
5. Offer the bread, salad dressing, etc., to your client(s) or peer(s) before taking it for yourself.
6. When the server asks for the order say: “I would like my guests to order first.”  This is a good way to let the server know that you should be given the check.  Otherwise, when you arrive, you can tell the maître d’ or host to hand you the check at the end of the meal so there is no confusion. You can also excuse yourself from the table as the meal closes and give your credit card to the waiter on your way to the restroom.
7. Tip adequately and treat the server as a good employee.  Your respect for that person will make an impression with your client or peer.
8. When inviting a client to lunch, select a quality restaurant, not a noisy, crowded inexpensive place.  The restaurant you choose is an extension of you, your company or how you see yourself in your career quest.

Order Carefully!  In Power Lunching: How You Can Profit from More Effective Business Lunch Strategy, authors E. Melvin Pinsel and Ligita Dienhart remind power-lunchers to remember “you are what you order.”   In other words, there are power foods and wimpy foods.  The executive who wants to seal the deal should stick to power foods like London broil, bourbon and Brie cheese.  Avoid wimpy foods like quiche, salad and chicken.  One more tip:  the ultimate power play is to order exactly the same thing as your boss. If you are ready to expand your business or up level your career, visit my website: http://tiny.cc/oSjwU

It has happened to the best of us –we’ve been at a nice restaurant and something has caught us off-guard.  Whether it was an unfamiliar dish or the 6^th fork that got you flustered, being prepared for the next business lunch can help you feel confident and prepared for your next meal (and deal!) Remember – dressing and acting professionally during business meals help establish long term relationships.  One or two faux pas can be forgiven as long as you are gracious and respectful to everyone – including wait staff. I frequently receive phone calls from high-achieving female career professionals and women business owners asking about dining rules, tips, social graces and charm along with business card etiquette.  I’m here to help.  Your business dinner etiquette rules are below, and my next three posts will focus on business tips when dining with a potential client, peer or executive, business card etiquette and how to be charming and gracious.  Here are 10 dining rules that commonly crop up and I want you to be prepared!

1. Don’t want wine?  Never flip your wine glass over – just say “no thank you” if offered.
2. Napkins are tricky, but here are the secrets:  Immediately after sitting, place the napkin in your lap. If the napkin is in the goblet, this is a sign from the restaurant that the server will place the napkin into your lap. If you excuse yourself during the meal, place the napkin on the left hand side of your plate or on the chair. This means you aren’t done. When done, place napkin on the right of the plate and your fork and knife horizontally across the plate.
3. Don’t push your plate away or stack your dishes.
4. Use utensils from the outside in; those at the top of your plate are for dessert.
5. Don’t put your purse, cell phone, or keys on the table.  You turned your cell phone off before you entered the restaurant, right?
6. Never apply lipstick or touch your hair at the table.
7. Break bread into bite sized pieces.  Butter the pieces one at a time.  Don’t butter your bread directly from the butter disk.  Put a small amount of butter on your bread plate.
8. Always pass salt and pepper shakers together, even if you are asked to pass one or the other – they are a pair.
9. When passing food, offer to serve your neighbor before serving yourself.
10. Wait until everyone has been served before you begin eating; in a large group, you may start after four or five people next to you have been served.

According to a poll conducted by The Creative Group, an advertising and marketing firm, being rude to a restaurant employee is the No. 1 reason a business lunch goes bad; and the other top two reasons:  Arriving late and poor table manners.  The best news is that all three of those are completely within your control! Hope you enjoyed this post which was written to provide an array of information about dinning. If you are ready to expand your business or up level your career, visit my website: http://tiny.cc/oSjwU

From My Jewel Chest: Always remember there is nothing more flattering or rare than the undivided attention of another.  It is more important to be interested than interesting.   – Mike Moore, Humorist/Speaker